Private Practice crossover 2x16 "Ex-life"

Sam: It's hard to believe the five of us back together again.
Naomi: Six, six, Archer makes six.
Sam: Right, six. I forgot about Archer.
Mark: And if you count the worms in Archer's brain;
it's like, twenty-six.





Addison: ...and if you're comfortable with it we'd like to
use your name. It's a nice angle; Neurosurgeon saves Neurologist.
Archer: Sure. He didn't save me though.
Addison: I'm pretty sure he did. What with you being here
alive and breathing and all.
Archer: My hand is shaking, my head is killing me, my vision
is blurry and the room is spinning. Get a CT, he missed something.






Addison: Hi
Derek: Archer is awake and complaining. Am I right?
He outta be happy he's on 5 of morphine.
Addison: He says his vision is blurry and he would like you
to run another CT.
Derek: No.
Addison: No?
Derek: Your brother's an ass. His vision's probably impaired
because he can't see past his ego. His post-op examination was
fine. He doesn't need a CT. He just needs to sleep it off.
Addison: Dr. Shepherd!
Derek: Dr. Shepherd?
Addison: Well if your gonna act like some random surgeon
with a God complex I'm gonna speak to you like one.





Bailey: I always liked Addison. Don't always like everybody.
But I always liked her. She smells nice, she's polite, she saves babies.
So what happened to the brother? Was he lost at birth?
Raised by wolves?
Sam: He's not always such an ass.
Mark: Yea he is.






Bailey: Fine, I can keep it under wraps. As much as one can
wheeling a hopped up blow-hard around the hospital.







Mark: You know what's weird?
Naomi: You, who has never worn flannel a day in his life, living
in Seattle and having a semi-incestuous relationship with his
best friend's almost sister.
Mark: I was gonna say that it's weird that I dislike Archer as
much as I do and somehow this you and Archer thing gives me
hope. Lexie.
Naomi: What the sister?
Mark: She's a good girl; she's a nice girl. Well raised, kind and
understanding. Sane, she's like you.
So if you can find happiness with Archer, I'm thinking maybe
there's hope.
Naomi: You really think this thing is real, between you and
this little girl?
Mark: I'm afraid to hurt her.
Naomi: You think Archer's gonna hurt me?
Mark: I hope not. Like I said you two give me hope.







Sam: HA!
Naomi: Excuse me?
Sam: I said HA! HA, because I was right. HA because it was
an allergic reaction. So, HA to Mark and Addison and you if
you believed them. It was not a panic attack it was an asthma
attack. I am not pathetic, I am a man. I am a man with asthma.
So HA!








Addison: Oh shut up damn it. You cornered me, I let you corner
me. This is the hot dog Thanksgiving all over again.
Derek: What?
Addison: Oh you know what. Your mother breaks her wrist and
the day before Thanksgiving you invite 34 people over to our house
without even asking me. Knowing I've never cooked a turkey in
my life. Your sister gets Salmonella and your mother who never
liked me accused me of trying to kill everyone. And you make
hot dogs and you're the hero.
Derek: Addison
Addison: No it's exactly the same thing Derek. You make some
cavalier statement and then I gotta do all the work and no
matter how it turns out, you're the hero and I'm incompetent.
~~~medical stuff~~~
Derek: You did it.
Addison: We did it. We did it.
Derek: Who's the hero now?








Addison: Just admit it. Your mother never liked me.
Derek: Well she didn't dislike you, just when you gave Nancy
Salmonella it didn't help.
Addison: Oh hush she hated me long before I poisoned your sister.
She hated me from the moment she met me and that never
changed. She thought that I was rich and privileged and wrong
for you. And that's why she didn't give me the ring. Just admit it!
So atleast then I'll know that I wasn't crazy for eleven years.
Derek: She hated you.
Addison: Thank you.







Derek: Next time I save your life Archer a simple 'Thank you'
would suffice. If you're a neurosurgeon and not just a neurotic you
would know it's common for a CSP to temporarily fill with fluid post
surgery. Repeat a CT in a month and this will be clear.
Naomi: What? You mean he's gonna be fine?
Derek: No, he's gonna be an ass like he's always been.








Sam: Should be me in there.
Bailey: You wish you'd just had parasites removed from your
brain?
Sam: No I just always thought that when we got older, we'd
be there for each other. If one of us got sick the other could hold
their hand. You know be there.
Bailey: Course you did. That's what you do for your wife.
Sam: uh, ex-wife now. It was an asthma attack.
Bailey: Either way I'm gonna home to my husband, with
whom things have been difficult lately and I'm going to hug him
and kiss him and thank him for all the good things that he is that
I sometimes don't bother to notice. And I have you to thank for that.
Cause I'm not gonna make your mistake. I don't wanna end up
standing outside the window watching my life go on without me.
Sam: Ex-life.


~~~

Written by: Jon Cowan, Robert Rovner, Krista Vernoff, Debora Cahn
Directed by: Mark Tinker